I am a big boy. Mommy says so. I may not have hair on my chest but I do have hair on my armpits and even on my special place. I am so grown up. I used to want to play football but mommy says I can’t. I also want to ride on the same bus as all my friends, but they make me ride the baby bus. I hate the baby bus. I’m also really sick of always having to wear a helmet. When I take off my shirt mommy is always screaming “put on your helmet”. It’s so unfair. None of my friends have to wear a helmet. And a lot of them don’t even have as much hair on their special place as I do. Trust me. I’ve checked!

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Yes, I know I just did a picture with an apparantly naked guy looking in the general direction of his penis. In my defense, I didn’t mock the mentally challenged in the other ad.

I decided I’d try posting a personal ad to hopefully meet a better class of man. Most of the guys I meet just seem sleazy. What kind of pick-up line is “Hey baby! Is $20 enough?” What does that even mean? So, if I can’t meet men were I work and hang out, I guess I don’t have much choice but to try something a little different. Of course I miss hanging out with my friends down on Harry Hines, but to make this work I have to spend more time at home checking out replies to my ad and emailing the guys who respond. I guess online guys try harder to impress you with moneythough. They keep asking me “Is $150 enough?”.

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I can’t tell. Is that a can of Natural Light in her hand?

I am one seriously well built dude. I know it, and you know it. Look at that torso. I am sculpted and there isn’t an ounce of fat on me. Just look at that definition. In fact I always walk around without a shirt because it would be a shame to hide this example of the perfect male form from all the ladies. I do have to wear the hat to shade me from the sun though. Being this hot, it really is important that I don’t let anything make me even hotter. And I also…wait… What the hell is that growing on my dick?

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I want to say, for the record, I have no idea what it is on that man’s dick.

I just posted this new pic to my ad after seeing some of the responses I got. My friend happened to have his phone handy at just the right moment to catch my reaction to some of them. So I am posting this picture as a warning. Seriously, if looking at your picture is going to make me want to puke, please don’t respond. You know who you are, and you know what I am talking about.

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Ladies like a man with a sense of humor. But I have yet to meet a woman who finds puking funny, and I have known a lot of women.

We’ve been talking about it. We’ve done the whole threesome thing to death. There really are only so many combinations you can use with three people and we’ve done them all. So we decided we want a fourth. We originally thought about bringing in another girl, but they we thought about it and decided “Why limit ourselves”? So we’re open to male or female. Hell, why not a hermaphrodite? That would totally rock. I just hope the guys understand that I didn’t suggest we bring on another guy just for my benefit because, well, I think there are many more interesting possible combinations if we, or should I say they, open their minds (and a couple of other things) just a little bit.

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Yes, I know the picture is sideways. That’s the way they submitted it and I do not doctor the pics unless I have to. Besides. I’m lazy.