How can these people be single?

Man, I need a chick, you know? I mean, like, I REALLY need a chick. Like, there is this strange gray thing floating around my house, and it's freaking me out! I don't know what it is, but I think the government sent it. What was I talking about again? Oh, yeah...I need a chick, you know?




I am a Man on the Moon, looking for love. I spend most of my time at my job as a Pet Detective, but that job is just The Mask, I wear. In my free time I do things that are Dumb and Dumber. And I know it looks like I use roids, but I swear I don't. My nuts have always been this size.




Just look at this clean close shave! You know you want a guy like me! I can assure you, there won't be any hair in your teeth baby. What you need to be is sweet, caring, and good with a razor. I need a woman I can trust. Are you that woman?




It's real simple guys. If you can make me make this face, you're in. Otherwise, you're out. Any questions?




I am a loving and caring man. I like nothing more than sharing my love with my lady. I like kittens, my herb garden and writing poetry. I think that a man has to be sensitive to be strong. I am also a peaceful soul looking for my partner. Oh, and if you cheat on me, I'm gonna smoke your cheating whore ass.