These are all real

I had mentioned before I had some ads with the actual text saved up. So far these are my favorites of those. Of course, I couldn't resist a few comments of my own.

Not looking for your average Paris Hilton bimbo. My kind of women would be apreciated, monogomouse, gentle, and soft hearted with some moral fiber in her body. I think flaws make up a women, and if she's the women for you her flaws with grow on you.

I remember Monogamouse. Wasn't he Mickey's boring cousin? It is nice to know though that there is a guy looking for flawed women, even if he may be the one person too dumb for Paris Hilton.

New peeve: people that say they smoke tobacco, drink alcohol and coffee, but don't do drugs. Morons! Nicotine, alcohol and caffine are drugs.

I always find it to be a great approach to call potential dates "Morons!". I also find women love to be called "cunt", "twat" and "whore".

saw your photo and my heart skipped 2 beats and was wondering if we can go out sometime

Not one beat...TWO beats. Plus, I promise to wear my best helmet for our date! I kinda hope he put the text in his ad by mistake because it would really worry me if his heart skipped 2 beats after he saw my photo.

Hi ya My name's Matt. I'm like a Mushroom.........A FUN GUY to be with. I'm 32 & a bit of a nutter magnet. So come on you nutters get in touch. By the way it's not how big ya pencil is it's how you write your name!

I am SHOCKED that a guy who is "like a mushroom" would be a "nutter magnet". But I do think it takes a brave man to admit in his personal ad that he has a small dick.

my name is lacy and i live in cali...fo sho! i am getting married in a month and a half and my goal is to look like this again, but im 20 lbs away...lol...i love my life and im happy...of course!

OK then. Be sure to look me up after the divorce. Oh, and after you lose the 20 pounds.

imagine getting your fingertips chopped off because of a girl, then that girl leaving you a week later because some jerk tells her that your cheating on her even though your not. i wish i can escape this surreal dream

OK. I don't need to add anything here.