Momma says it's about time for me to be settlin down. I am lookin for a lady that likes the finur things in life, like fresh squirrel and homemade corn squeezins. Must not spend too much on shoes. Anyone that thinks they need to wear shoes outside church just ain't right. I would prefer someone who lives close by, but am willing to consider women who live outside our farm, like cousins and such.

Can you be my trophy girlfriend? I'd love a woman I can share my life with forever. We can go out and I will make sure you are stuffed before you go home. If things go well be certain I would love to mount you.

If you go out with me, all this can be yours. You will get to enjoy not only my company, but exciting dates at all the local historic and scientific museums. But I'm not all about the dioramas! Sometimes I like to visit libraries, or if I'm feeling crazy, bookstores. Plus, for those special nights, you can come over to mom's house, sit by the fire and we'll play some D & D.

I believe in telling it like it is. I like asses. Don't think I'm creepy though. No, I'm a proctologist. I love my job. I really get in to it. It's a wonderful way to make a living. Maybe I can give you an exam. Does it hurt when I do this? Do you want it to?

My brother didn't have much luck on this site, so I'm going to see if I do any better. I guess you could say the love of animals runs in my family. Just like my brother I LOVE dogs. I am looking for a man who can share my love for dogs. Now, I know my dog will never love you the way he loves me, but I am sure that if you are the right man, you and my dog will get along just fine. Maybe you can bring my dog a bone!