OK, you need to understand something right up front: I am a bit of a mystic. I believe in things like crystals and spirit guides and shamanism. Oh, and I believe in reincarnation. In fact I believe I was Joan of Arc, Bathsheba and, of course, Catherine the Great. Of course that last one is obvious with my love of horses. I don't just love horses I LOVE horses. I mean I REALLY LOVE horses. I particularly love horses that love me. Now some guys seem to get jealous of my love for horses, but, I have to be honest, I really don't care. If a guy can't handle my love for horses, well, I'll just stick with the horses. Sure a horse can't go to the movies or dinner, but... Did I mention I really love horses?
Make up your own explanation of why this woman is bending over for a horse in the forums.
Before I wrote my ad I read a few for inspiration. I have to say I don't get it. Why do all the guys seem to exxagerate and hide their flaws? I mean, I'm not perfect at all, but I would never try to hide anything. I mean, seriously, I know that there is no way half of the guys on the site are really firemen. Oh, and I saw those pics dude. 35 my ass. And, you know, if I had a receeding hair line I certainly wouldn't touch up the photo to try to make it look like I had hair. That would just be pathetic.
Offer your own explanation for this bizarre picture in the forums.
I am a simple yet compelling woman. If I was going to come up with a description, which I guess is the point of this ad, I guess I would say I am a young, ambitious, confident and sexy young woman looking for the finer things in life. I want to have fun, but I also want to find Mr. Right. I know he's out there somewhere. I just have to be patient.
My perfect guy will be similar to me. He must also be attractive and confident. He has to have a good sense what he wants in life. I want him to be loving and caring, but also sensitive to my needs. He will be assertive but not bossy, and aggressive but not demanding.
Oh, and if he cheats on me I will use this sword, cutoff his balls and feed them to my rottweiler.
OK, I didn't want to post this ad, but I was forced to. No I'm not another pathetic loser who claims their friend "made" them place an ad. I know that's bullshit.
It was my doctor.
See, it's been a long time since my last date. I don't have a problem with that but my doctor says I have to get out and meet some people. Sure it's not always easy having my hand stuck like this, but I am OK with that. I like my alone time. I mean I REALLY like my alone time! But the doctor says I have to do something, and part of that is letting the muscles in my hand relax. I had an idea involving alternating hands, but he said that wasn't really the point, whatever that means.
So, anyway, I need a date. Drop me a line if you're interested. I'll be in my room. (But knock first, OK?)
Make up your own ad, or offer some medical alternatives, in the forum.
You know what I like? I like wood. I prefer a good hardwood to softer woods, but I understand that sometimes you have to take what you can get. I like wood so much I'll take it anywhere. I have wood in the bedroom. I have wood in the kitchen. Hell, as you can see from this pic I'll even take wood outside of my apartment if that's where the wood is at. And why shouldn't a woman love good strong wood? Wood that can last a lifetime. Wood that stands the test of time. Truly, wood is a blessing. I am not saying my man should share my love of wood. In fact, I have found men that love working with wood don't really understand me. But my man must understand that wood is very important to me. And he must be willing to understand I will take wood anywhere, and everywhere, I can get it.
Post your own ad, or just discuss wood,in the forums.
I want you to look at my nads. Look at them! Come to my nads. They command you to worship them. Worship my nads! Bow down before my nads. Genuflect at their presence. My nads are to be treated as the holy objects they are!
Hi. I like going to all sorts of interesting places. I am really fond of art museums. I am not so much in to painting as sculpture though. I also like public parks, although I am not a fan of pigeons. I like churches and temples too! Really, if there is a statue there, I'll like it. I guess that makes me a cheap date, LOL! I just keep having trouble with guys. After they take me to a museum I either never see them again, or they never take me any place with statues again. What is an "art lover" to do?
If you know what is good for you, you will drop me a line. Oh, and get me some beer before you come over. And hurry up, because this one is almost empty.
Unless you want me to shoot you, post your own caption in the forums.
I am a simple woman. I love my family, my job and my dog. Ohhh, I love my little doggy woggy. He is so cuuuuuuuuuute! He loves to wear the little outfits I make for him. Yes he does! Oh, I love my little puppykins. Oh, where was I. Oh yeah. Anyway, all I am lacking is that special man in my life. Yes I am!
There is nothing sexier on a man than his nose. When I see a big proboscis I just can't help myself. My palms sweat. My loins get moist. My knees shake. And before I know what is happening, my tongue will flick out and I find myself romancing the nose. Oh, I am wet just thinking about it.
Karl big and strong. Karl kill food. You come to Karl and eat food. Karl and you make booga booga all night. Karl like booga booga. Karl have brother. You bring girl for brother. Karl brother kill Bambi with bow and arrow. Karl brother want make booga booga all night too. We all make booga booga together.
Why is it every guy I have met from this ad takes me on a "date" where I end up in his house where all his guy friends are waiting for us, with their pants down? And why do they all start playing with themselves as soon as I get there? Oh, and what is "bukake"?
Ladies, you deserve a classy guy. As we all know, it's hard to find a guy who knows how to treat a lady. Heck, most guys are really embarassing just to be with out in public! So if you want a guy with REAL class, your search has ended. I'm sure you can tell by this ad that I am all about class. Oh, and as you can see, I am also extremely witty and clever.
I am your typical guy. I do most of the normal things. I like sports, especially football. I also love movies and beer. A great night for me is hanging out with friends or my girl. In fact, this pic was taken at our SuperBowl party! You like?
I know what you are saying: "If it tastes that nasty, why are you putting it in your mouth?". Well, all I will say is that you need to think about what other nasty things I am willing to put in my mouth. Think about that for a bit.
Can you know the mighty ocean? Can you lasso a star from the sky? Can you say to a rainbow... 'Hey, stop being a rainbow for a second'? No! such is Mango! You can't have-a de Mango!
Come, play my game of love. Be aware that I am a fierce competitor, and I will not just let you win. But, let us be fair. When you play the game of love with me, there are no losers. I ask only one thing: Please bring a pair of dice. (My little sister swallowed mine.)
OK, you need to understand something right up front: I am a bit of a mystic. I believe in things like crystals and spirit guides and shamanism. Oh, and I believe in reincarnation. In fact I believe I was Joan of Arc, Bathsheba and, of course, Catherine the Great. Of course that last one is obvious with my love of horses. I don't just love horses I LOVE horses. I mean I REALLY LOVE horses. I particularly love horses that love me. Now some guys seem to get jealous of my love for horses, but, I have to be honest, I really don't care. If a guy can't handle my love for horses, well, I'll just stick with the horses. Sure a horse can't go to the movies or dinner, but... Did I mention I really love horses?
