Set sail with me

Argh Matey! I be looking for a lass to take aboard my ship. I prefer a woman with sturdy sea legs. And, of course, I am all about the booty. If you fit the bill come find me in port. Must not mind a few barnacles on my main mast.

OK, I took the obvious route... sue me.

How scary is this ad? 5 - Terrifying4 -3 -2 -1 - Mildly Disturbing View Results

Woe is me. I sit alone in my room without companionship. Whereforever shall I find my love. Where is my Romeo. Bring forth thine romance.

Can you feel the drama tonight?

How scary is this ad? 5 - Terrifying4 -3 -2 -1 - Mildly Disturbing View Results

Is he a gasper or just "special"

I am a human! I am not an animal! Go on a date with me.

I think that thing around his neck is too tight.

How scary is this ad? 5 - Terrifying4 -3 -2 -1 - Mildly Disturbing View Results

Just shaking my head

I don't even really have a joke. I am just confused why she went to the trouble to colorize the juice box.

How scary is this ad? 5 - Terrifying4 -3 -2 -1 - Mildly Disturbing View Results

Safety First

All I can say is that most guys would be satisfied with a Trojan Magnum. But this man is clearly not like most guys.

How scary is this ad? 5 - Terrifying4 -3 -2 -1 - Mildly Disturbing View Results

At least she was drunk

So, you're saying I shouldn't expect guys to treat me right if I post my pic with some guy sucking on my tits?

Well, I just have to disagree.

How scary is this ad? 5 - Terrifying4 -3 -2 -1 - Mildly Disturbing View Results

Actual Text October 2, 2007

I am a funloving man that is looking to meet funloving ladies. You never know what might pop up during a good conversation. Love to chat and cam online. Love a "stimulating" conversation I swear I have no idea what this guy is talking about.

How scary is this ad? 5 - Terrifying4 -3 -2 -1 - Mildly Disturbing View Results