Take me! I'm yours!

I used to be a picky guy. It started out with me only wanting ladies that were 10's. Then I got a little more realistinc and went for ladies that were 7's. I even tried switching to just ladies, and even "ladies".
Now I realize, I have to take what I can get. So, as you can see guys. I'm ready. I give up. I may not be gay, but if that's the only action I am going to get, so be it.

Just please be gentle. It's my first time. OK, maybe not my FIRST time...

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Set sail with me

Argh Matey! I be looking for a lass to take aboard my ship. I prefer a woman with sturdy sea legs. And, of course, I am all about the booty. If you fit the bill come find me in port. Must not mind a few barnacles on my main mast.

OK, I took the obvious route... sue me.

How scary is this ad? 5 - Terrifying4 -3 -2 -1 - Mildly Disturbing View Results

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Where men are men and calves are scared

I'm just a good ol' boy, tryin' to have some fun. Daddy says I have to stay away from the livestock, so I need something else to do with my time. Could you be that something? Frankly I don't know why daddy has a problem with me being around the calves. I love them little suckers. I mean I REALLY love them. Sure they run away from me when I come close, but they're just playing hard to get. I know they really love me too.

If you have seen this man near farm animals, call the ASPCA or post the information here.

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How scary is this ad? 5 - Terrifying4 -3 -2 -1 - Mildly Disturbing View Results

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Actual Text March 30, 2007

"Hey look out for that big spider on your shoulder!!!! No not that shoulder, the other one!!! Ah, forget it. It's gone."

I guess this is what you put in your ad when you have no good selling points.

And if you have any good points this guy could have mentioned, post them here.

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How scary is this ad? 5 - Terrifying4 -3 -2 -1 - Mildly Disturbing View Results

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OK, I have to ask?

Is it just me, or that dog look really scared?



OK, I didn't write an ad, but the picture... you can write an ad if you want.

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How Scary Is This Ad? 5 - Terrifying4 -3 -2 -1 - Mildly Disturbing View Results

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Are those ski boots?

I have no problem showing what am all about. I make it a point to let you see what I have to offer. Sure, some people think it's odd to run around in Speedos all day long. And, yes, there are some restaraunts that I'm not allowed in. And of course I do have to deal with the effects of cold weather now and then (yeah, that can be embarassing). But I still want you to know what you are getting with me, whether we meet online or the grocery store.

Is that a package or a parcel? Let me know your thoughts.

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How scary is this ad? 5 - Terrifying4 -3 -2 -1 - Mildly Disturbing View Results

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Hair today, gone tomorrow

OK, I want so bad to write an ad for this one, but I just can't. See, I can't decide if he is wearing a wig or not. I mean, either he is, in which case I need to explain him that men don't shop in wig stores, they wear toupees. Or he's not, which, well, is just too frightening to contemplate. Regardless, if George Michaels ever wants a new partner for a revamped WHAM!...

Wig or not?

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How scary is this ad? 5 - Terrifying 4 -3 -2 -1 - Mildly Disturbing View Results

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