I bet the rest of her friend is cute

OK, I need a real man. I need a whole man. What good does it do me to have yet another person who isn't all there in my life. If you're not 100% behind me, then I don't need you behind me at all. It would also be nice if you lived in a building that wasn't strangely joined to another, very similar looking building.


I admit I've had this one for a while. Never could figure out what to write. Not sure I did well, but it was long past time to actually share it.

It's a freaking clear plastic plate!

I give you my heart on a plastic plate. Take it my love and let us dance the dance of romance. What's that you say? This picture is dorky? What do I hear? Drawing in a heart makes me look like a fool? I feel for you my poor dreamgirl for you have become jaded to the world of romance. Let me reintroduce you to this special joy. If you like, I can even improve some pictures of the two of us together on our first date!


I have just one word: RULES!

This time it's not my fault

I am posting this picture not because it would be the third time I have doctored a pic. In fact, I have made absolutely no changes to this picture. I did not airbrush the tattoo, the cigar, the small floating turtle in the corner and/or the block across the eyes. Instead I am posting this picture because I am quite certain that she is thankful that he has protected her privacy because I sincerely believe she regrets having ever had her picture taken in a hot tub with this man.

More radioactive love

I have heard that this is a place that will accept people like me. It's not our fault we were exposed to massive doses of radioactivity. It's so hard to find a woman who is understanding and doesn't mind the fact that I glow in the dark and cannot pass through airport security without getting the TSA all up in arms. I'm just so glad to find a place where I can reach out for the female companionship I so crave without being mocked.


Well, OK... so I am mocking him.

I am not a man to be taken lightly

Ladies, I have 2 things to say. First, I am once again available. Yes, that's right, I am on the market. So your chance has come.

Second, and pay very close attention to this. If you break my heart I WILL make your head vanish. I'm serious. I can do it. See these two? We were supposed to meet for drinks and they didn't show up. Now they know better. As you can see, they are very prompt when we have an appointment now. So, I suggest you think very carefully about how you treat me. You wouldn't want this to happen to you.


This one seriously does scare me. I mean, the whole face thing is one thing (it's called cropping people) but that expression kind of reminds me of that kid from the old Twilight Zone that sent people that pissed him off "to the corn".